


You're Not A Freak

by MoonyMcMoon



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Autistic Edward Nygma, Bisexual Edward Nygma, Bisexual Jim Gordon, Bullying, Caring Harvey Bullock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kristen Kringle Lives, M/M, Sane Edward Nygma, Socially Awkward Edward Nygma, Soft Jim Gordon, Sweet Edward Nygma, headcanon stuff, riddlegordon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-01-18 04:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21269354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonyMcMoon/pseuds/MoonyMcMoon
Summary: It's no secret everybody at the GCPD picks on Ed Nygma. He's insulted, he's pushed aside, he's never taken seriously and people often call him annoying. Ed knows he's a little different but that doesn't mean he's not hurt and upset. And if theres one word he hated and despised being called the most it was "Freak". However, there are a few people who are nowhere near mean and cruel to Ed and one of those people happen to be Jim Gordon.-sort of set around Season 1.Ed doesn't lose his mind and just good stuff cause Edward Nygma deserved better.
Relationships: Jim Gordon/Edward Nygma
Comments: 28
Kudos: 153





	1. Friend

Edward Nygma will never understand why the cops and other workers in the GCPD are so incredibly cruel to him. He does everything he can to be helpful and nice and yet everyone insults him. Ed could never quite understand why, when he never does anything wrong. You’d think being a forensic analyst would give you some respect. There were a few people, however, that gave Ed the respect he wanted, and that was Leslie Thompkins, Captain Essan, and the Golden Knight, Jim Gordon. Those three were probably the nicest in the GCPD. Bullock could occasionally be nice. The nicest which is saying thanks whenever Ed figures something out. Gordon and Thompkins would always answer his riddles though. Hell, Jim would answer random riddles not associated with cases when the time was okay.

Ed sat at his desk incredibly deep into the files he was asked to study and look over by Bullock. It was unknown how long he sat there all hunched over, taking notes, looking over more files, filling out little side things. He wasn’t broken from his trance until a heavy hand came grabbed his shoulder. Ed yelped in fear and spun around to find Jim.

“You okay Ed?”

Ed pinched the bridge of his nose and took of his glasses rubbing his eyes and only now began to feel the pain in his back from the bad posture.

“Yes, detective, I was just looking over the files from the last two cases.”

“Ed you haven’t even taken your lunch break and the GCPD is done for the night have you eaten?” Jim asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Oh, I guess I was in my element, I tend to do that when I’m focused on something.” Ed laughed nervously. Great, Jim was gonna think he was weird.

Jim nodded in understanding and folded his arms and bid Ed good night heading out before stopping and turning back. “Hey how about you and I go grab a drink? My treat.”

Ed was putting on his coat before looking at Jim puzzled. “Uh sure… is… detective Bullock going to be there?” he asked warily.

Jim smiled and shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “No, Harvey went home around 2 hours ago to get drunk at his place. Just you and me.”  
  
Ed allowed a smile to rise on his face. “Sure, I’ll come have a drink with you.”

The bar wasn’t too crowded or loud, thank God. Ed wasn’t ready for anything overwhelming, but Jim seemed to have picked up on that, and claimed that he didn’t care for loud bars either. They grabbed a booth, ordering a few beers and discussed the case a bit. Ed was out of his element, not usually in bars, or anywhere near talking with anyone so casually.

Out of random impulse, Ed spat out a riddle.

_“The things I bite, they don't bleed,_

_I don't bite until you push me;_

_I bring my victims together each time I bite,_

_But they'll come undone if you pull it just right._

_What am I?”_  
  
Jim looked confused before he seemed to go into a deep thought. He had this way of looking to the side or straight ahead as he collected what he could. Ed however mistook it as random and unnecessary and was about to apologize before Jim answered.  
“A stapler.”  
Ed’s eyes lit up. “Correct! You’re really good at Riddles, Jim”

The detective smiled and sipped more of his beer. “Well when you ask a lot of them, kind of keeps those brain gears turnin’.”

Ed sighed and tapped his index finger along the side of the drink. “They can be pretty annoying, can’t they? I tend to annoy a lot of people that way I guess.”

“I never said they were annoying. Come up at inappropriate times perhaps but even then, I think it is like an extra challenge.” Jim countered. The mood changed.

“Ed, I know the others at the GCPD are kind of assholes to you.”

Ed grimaced but stared at his beer in his hand instead.

“Why do you take it?” Jim asked.

“I’m not very tough and I don’t really like confrontation.” Ed leaned back in his seat. “I’m a bit of a softy, and a wimp as my dad always said.” The taller man looked over at Jim who seemed to listen with intent.  
  
“I’m also just weird. Everyone knows that.” Jim made no remark but thought in silence until he folded his hands and looked at Ed.

_“I can hurt, I can help, I'm kind, Sometimes I'm not, I can be said, You can hear me, Yet you can't see neither touch me. What am I?”_ Jim said.  
  
Ed was startled not expecting a riddle. “Words.”  
  
Jim nodded. “Words have an effect over people, Ed. They can hurt you and they can help you and they always will be used, and they won’t stop coming. When people used hurtful words, it can really mess with how you view yourself and others. I know this from experience. You’re not weird. Unique? Definitely. Awkward? Everybody is a little bit. Lee and I, we think you’re funny, and that you deserve to be treated better. Bullock won’t say it but you’re very important to the GCPD. You’re one of the most intelligent people there, and he’s just to proud too admit it.” Jim smiled.

Ed blinked, mouth somewhat agape and he shortly closed it looking at the table awkwardly. He was never complimented like that before. He could feel the sting of upcoming tears. Why was he about to cry? That’s embarrassing he shouldn’t cry over something like this.

It was clear to Jim, though, that Ed had never been so positively looked upon. With how everyone treated him the detective thought it probably would mean a lot to him. Jim almost panicked seeing the other start crying. He didn’t mean to make Ed cry. Ed murmured which almost went unheard in the hum of the bar.  
“Thank you.”

Jim relaxed again and grabbed a few napkins handing them over to Ed, before paying for the drinks and leading them both out of the bar heading home for the night.

* * *

The detective got home around 1 after dropping Ed off at his place and turned on the tv and crawled onto the couch. He reached over on the coffee table to reread the note Barbara left. She wasn’t going to come back. Jim placed it back and slowly drifted off. The next morning Jim groaned in agony as the alarm on his phone went off and he sat up on the couch. His back popped as he grabbed it to turn the alarm off. Groggy he stood up and went to grab him a cup of water. He observed his phone again after a buzz.

**Bullock 7:21 am**  
_Need you to come in early, news on the new case._

Jim cracked his neck and began to get ready for the day.

* * *

The GCPD was busy. Hummed conversations and a lot of discussion amongst new cases. Though it wasn’t too noisy, one of the pros for being a forensic analyst was the quiet space they had on the second floor of the office. Ed enjoyed more peaceful background noise, as sometimes the constant crowded hussle of the cops lead him into a migraine. However, Ed was having his own little headache from the hangout with Gordon last night. The taller man mumbled to himself as he walked into the file room to look for a specific person for Bullock. He flinched seeing his crush, miss Kringle. At this point he just wanted to focus on work today. He’d only embarrass himself if he tried to talk to her without some plan. He kept his head down, muttering a morning. Surprisingly, he received a “hello, Mr. Nygma” back. That made Ed smile some.

_It’s going to be a good day today._ He tried to tell himself every morning. In hopes that maybe it would be true, and he wouldn’t be insulted or pushed. Sometimes he was lucky enough to get those days. Ed made his way down to the bullpen and towards the side room to grab a coffee. He was going to want to pay as much attention as possible for the load of work Bullock warned him about. Ed then about turned right back around seeing Arnold Flass in their joking with two other policemen. Ed wasn’t so lucky.

“Nygma! Hey buddy come here.”

The taller man bit the inside of his cheek in annoyance and turned to Flass with a neutral expression. “Can I help you?”

“Make me a coffee”

Ed furrowed his brow. “You have a coffee in your hand”

“Just make me one.”

“No.”

Flass glared and opened the cap to coffee. “I like my coffee scalding and black” and the cop proceeded to dump the coffee on Ed earning a howl of laughter from the other two cops and a screech of pain from Ed as he flinched from the heat of the drink. Flass laughed as Ed bit harder on the inside of his cheek and stormed out of the coffee room, not caring how quiet it was and how other eyes began to look at him as he stormed back to his desk. He also didn’t care to notice the certain detective that observed him with sad eyes.

Ed shuffled his now stained coat and rolled up his sleeves and pushed the damp coffee smelling hair from his face and took his glasses off to clean them. He finally looked up seeing a few others mutter to one another looking at Ed.

“_Oh, what do you want?”_ he snapped, the onlookers proceeding to look away in silence. Ed sighed sitting down and holding his head and sniffled. He should just focus on work. That’s what he was going to do.

* * *

Jim was furious. Everyone watched as Ed paced out back to his office in silence hearing the few cops snicker and laugh as the poor analyst was drenched in coffee. Bullock snickered a little but saw the anger on Jim’s face and stopped. Jim watched as Flass and the other two cops left the coffee room heading to their desks. He was about to rip them a new one but Bullock’s hand grabbing Jim’s shoulder stopped him.

“I know you’re a man of justice but were on clock, you can punch their lights out later.” He said. Jim frowned but nodded. He wondered if Ed was okay.

It was only a few hours later before he went and brought Ed a coffee. He wasn’t sure if he gotten it right, but it was the least he could do. He set the cup down on Ed’s desk pulling the workaholic from his thoughts and looked at the coffee before seeing Jim. Jim offered him a smile, happy to see Ed return one and thank him. Jim asked about the files and work Ed had so far, ignoring any weird looks he gotten from the other police. Ed rambled and commented his theories and facts and questions, sliding a few riddles in, which of course Jim answered. After a while Jim thanked him and patted Ed’s shoulder before walking back to his own desk. Jim always felt for the taller guy. He knew what it was like to not have any friends. He was hoping to do that for Ed.

“I don’t understand why you bother with Nygma.” Harvey said leaning in his chair.

“I ‘bother’ with him because he’s a nice person and deserves a friend.” Jim said. “He’s not that bad if you actually stopped treating him like shit, Harv.”

“you’re such a softy, Jim”

“Just be nice to him Harvey, you and I both know how important Ed is. Especially with our cases.”

That shut Bullock up in thought as Jim sat back down and opened the file for the current case.

* * *

Ed looked at his watch after a few more hours since Jim brought him that coffee. It was about time for him to pack and head home. Ed sighed and gathered a few more files and his now dried coat and headed to clock himself out. He just had his eyes focused on the floor ahead so he can finally go to sleep. He headed out the door.

“Nygma!”

Ed spun around seeing Jim walk over. “Need a ride home?” the detective offered.

Ed blinked a bit in surprise before sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh if it’s not too much trouble.” Jim shook his head and lead Ed to his car and drove off from the Precinct. The detective noticed Ed’s nervous fumbling of his wrist and gentle shake of his leg.

“Hey Ed if you don’t mind me asking, what happened this morning in the coffee room?”

Ed frowned more. “Detective Flass was being rather unprofessional and tried to have me make him a coffee and then proceeded to pour his already made coffee on me. Still hot.”

Jim’s grip on the wheel tightened. “God what an asshole.” He muttered. “I’m sorry that happened…I’ll see to it that he won’t do it again.” Jim warned darkly.

Ed sighed and leaned his head to the window. “It’s not that big of a deal, Jim.”

“I beg to differ. You shouldn’t be treated like that Ed. Even if it’s not a big deal.”

Ed allowed a small smile to reach his face. That was what Jim liked to see. “Tell you what, I’m having a little get together with Lee and Harvey this weekend, would you like to join us?”

Ed sat up nervously and looked at Jim. “Uh… I’m not really…good with get togethers…especially big ones.”

Jim shook his head as he turned. “No, not big. Just those two and I. I promise Harvey will be on his best behavior, Lee will make sure of that.”

Ed sat and pondered. “Okay. What time?”

Jim smiled. “After work, I’ll just give you guys a lift.”


	2. Get Together

Panic struck Ed as he got into Jim’s car along with Harvey and Lee. He knew that this was a small get together and he knew them but at the same time he felt anxiety rise to his chest. He suddenly wanted to go home. He rubbed the ending cuff of his sleeve as Jim drove back to his place, Harvey talking up some story with a few six packs in his lap. Leslie was sitting in the back seat with Ed looking at her phone quietly before she looked over at Ed and smiled. That brought some comfort to the analyst. Ms. Thompkins was very nice and would allow Ed to play around and study things in the Medical Examiners room. He liked to experiment. Ed gave a shy smile back. Lee was very nice, but he never quite got to talk to her as much.

Ed continued to be quiet as Jim and Harvey filled the silence with their rambling and big macho talk. He was also just as quiet as they entered Jim’s apartment everyone but Harvey settling towards the couches. Harvey sat one six pack on the table and went to out the rest up for now. Jim claimed he had already ordered a pizza for everyone. A variety of course. Ed tried to look optimistic, but he was sure he looked just as nervous as he had when offered to come over. One person was easy to get along with especially since Jim was slow about the whole friendship but adding a loudmouth Harvey and a blunt Lee was just icing on this dreadful cake. On top of that Ed didn’t consider himself very interesting. At least, not interesting enough for anyone to actually learn about him. He often blew his interests off since he felt he only ever annoyed people with his interests. Nobody knew the many talents he held. Ed sipped his beer as Harvey was talking about a case, he investigated a few years back. Before Ed worked there even.

For most of the get together Ed was quiet, nodding along and felt just as vacant as he expected. He stood and headed to the kitchen to grab more pizza. He sighed until Lee came up next to him. “Hey Ed.”

“Hello Ms. Thompkins.”

“Please call me Lee. You okay? You’ve been quiet and I was worried you weren’t alright”

“I’m not used to social settings and so I’m feeling out of place, more than usual.”

Lee nodded and tapped her chin in thought. She patted his shoulder and then walked back, Ed joining back soon after.

“Hey guys I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a little Cards Against Humanity” Lee grinned. Jim and Harvey groaned but weren’t frowning against the idea. Ed tipped his head. “What’s Cards Against Humanity?” he asked, feeling for once, stupid.

Harvey sat forward excited. “It’s a card game that can get pretty offensive but its basically making the most “true” or “funniest” card combination. One person is the called the Card Czar and the pull a black card and the rest have to put down white cards to fill in the blank-“ Harvey went on and explained directions to a curious Edward. Lee and Jim seemed grateful that he wasn’t being a dick about the whole thing.

Jim cleared off the table and everyone moved towards the floor, Ed sitting between Jim and Harvey seeming awkward. When they began playing, Harvey wasn’t kidding when he warned the cards being stupid or offensive. They played and laughed, Ed often adding random facts to whatever card got picked making the rest laugh more. Ed began to feel pleased with himself every time he got a laugh or hearing Harvey go “Oh shit he really ain’t that innocent.” When Ed won a card. For once Harvey and Ed got to talking and turned out they got along well. Harvey wasn’t even drunk yet. That made Jim incredibly pleased. The wrapped up their game and Lee went to put it in her backpack. Harvey tapped Ed’s shoulder and pointed towards the kitchen muttering about grabbing another drink. Ed stood and walked with him and Harvey looked a bit conflicted.

“Is everything okay?” Ed asked.

“Ed I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole.” He admitted.

Ed opened his mouth but honestly couldn’t respond and closed it. He wasn’t expecting an apology out of the stubborn mule of a man.

“It’s…okay detective.”

“It’s not, kid, don’t lie. I misjudged you and I shouldn’t have.” Harvey stuck his hand out. “From now on, I’m gonna work on being less of an ass to you, friends?”

Ed looked ecstatic and took the hand firmly and they shook, in agreement. “Friends.”

The night carried on, Ed now more comfortable and chatting along with the others. As the late hours carried on, everyone began talking about some past family experiences. Jim talked about how he accidentally broke the window of his house and his dad chased him around the yard, screaming because he didn’t want to get in trouble. The stories were entertaining to say the least. Then they landed on Ed, asking about any childhood stories.

Ed frowned thinking. He didn’t have a good childhood. His dad was someone he would never talk about and his mom was sick most of the time.

“Uh…well…I didn’t….have that great of a childhood, but uh, once my dad had this old chess set and gave it to me as a birthday gift and so my mom and I would play a ton before… yeah that’s the one the sticks out more.” Ed offered awkwardly. The other three nodded in understanding. Ed muttered an apology before Harvey cut in.

“Hey don’t apologize”

Ed seemed grateful. The conversations continued and Ed only opened a little bit each time. Not about his childhood but his interests. They were pleasantly surprised hearing that Ed took dance and ballet before.

“I’m sorry you did what?” Harvey asked in a laugh.

Ed smiled. “I took dance and ballet after I moved out. I never got a chance to do anything fun when I was younger, so I started to try a bunch of things. Dancing happened to be my interest.”

Jim gave a sloppy grin and asked if Ed was drunk enough to show an example. Ed stood and, with the clearing he had made do with, he pirouetted though rusty still enough to show he wasn’t lying, grunting cause his feet hurt afterward. He sat back down listening to the three clapping. “I actually helped choreographed one or two dances then. Stopped going after hurting my knee around that time and just never went back, found other interests to work on.” Ed admitted with a shrug.

“Well I thought that was beautiful” Lee said in a soft voice.

“Thank you” Ed smiled.

Jim murmured something about possibly going into dancing.

“Excuse me what?” Harvey asked him.

Jim laughed and sat up and spoke more clearly. “Maybe not ballet but I always wanted to learn how to slow dance, I’ve never actually learned how to do it.”

“Well there is three methods to work with.” Ed added. “_My second is performed by my first, and, it is thought, a thief by the marks of my whole might be caught._

_What am I?”_

The three blinked.

“a footprint? Footstep?” Lee offered.

Ed nodded embarrassed. “Sorry a riddle was unnecessary, sometimes I feel like those are just intrusive thoughts slipping out” he laughed nervously.

“It fit the theme” Harvey said. Ed was relieved that Harvey was attempting to not be as much of a jerk.

_“Though liquid in nature, don't push me too far; for then I will break, and the damage may scar. What am I?”_ Jim asked in the mix of Ed’s apologies. “Ed don’t answer you’ll get it.” He added afterwards.

“I didn’t know you knew any riddles.” Harvey asked.

“I told you I enjoyed riddles before, you’re such a fantastic listener, Harv.”

For the rest of the night the group exchanged more riddles themselves and stories. Everyone slowly began to pass out after Jim decided to put on a movie. Ed and Jim were still awake sitting next to one another watching the movie.

“The graphics of this is so horrendous.” Ed mumbled.

“Oh, you’re telling me, but I think that’s why I find it so entertaining.”

“Hey Jim, I wanted to thank you for inviting me.”

Jim looked over at Ed with a small smile. “yeah of course, Ed. I hope you’ve been enjoying yourself.”

“I’ll be truthful the start of it all I think I had an anxiety attack, but it got better and it felt… like I actually had friends.”

“We are your friends. Especially me.” Jim said firmly.

Ed stared at the movie again ignoring the stupid stinging behind his eyes as he fought back tears.

“Heh, my dad would never believe this” he said.

“Dad sounded like a jerk.”

“jerk is an understatement.”

Jim looked at Ed again and after some consideration, he pulled Ed into a hug. It threw Ed off and stiffened at first not having been touched like this in so long. It was sad to think how long it’s been since anyone even touched him in a non-negative way. But after a few seconds he returned the hug, pressing his face in Jim’s shoulder. The smell of beer and aftershave lingered on him and Ed would admit that it was an incredibly comforting scent. They pulled back after a few minutes and Ed leaned his head back watching the movie ahead, his cheeks just a tad damper than before. He began to drift off and slumped down.

* * *

Jim glanced over the group in his home. Lee was curled on the chair already had gotten a blanket, looking like a cocoon. Harvey had already claimed Jim’s bed down the hall and could hear his obnoxious snoring. Then there was Ed who was with him on the couch. The taller man had finally fallen asleep, and shortly after he slumped over his head resting against Jim’s shoulder. Any other person Jim would have shuffled them off awkwardly however he couldn’t do it this time.

He didn’t want to move. He observed his friends carefully before carefully leaning over Ed to grab a blanket off the end of the couch and pulled it over the forensic analyst. Jim wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt compelled to let Ed have this. Ed clearly hadn’t had any friends in a long time and Jim was happy to comply. Jim genuinely enjoyed having Ed over. He even heard Harvey apologize which was also a big deal. Jim hadn’t felt soft for someone like this since Barbara, before she left. Jim slowly drifted off himself, his head leaning over on top of Ed’s. His thoughts wandered as he could smell Ed’s cologne and shampoo. Somehow it made complete sense, though Jim couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe a hinted smell of vanilla? Jim’s mind slowly blanked over to perhaps wonder what it was like to kiss Ed.

The next morning, Jim wasn’t sure when it happened, but the smell of pancakes filled the air and his eyes fluttered open. The blanket he had put on Ed last night was now tucked over him; a pillow added even. He rubbed his eyes and sniffled a bit looking around. He could hear gentle chattering from the kitchen and after waking up a bit more he made his way to the noise. Harvey and Lee were at the dining table babbling away about something and Ed was moving around in the kitchen making breakfast. He turned to Jim and smiled. “Morning, Jim, hope you don’t mind I’m making breakfast.”

Jim shook his head and groggily sat at the table across from Harvey.

“Well mornin’ sunshine, you have to try Ed’s pancakes these are fantastic, he made ‘em from scratch.”

Lee nodded in agreement eating a bite of her own breakfast. Ed casually walked over and placed breakfast down for Jim and the detective observed it. Blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon.

“Lucky for you, Ed.” Jim said gruffly. “I’m a huge fan of blueberry pancakes.”

Ed chuckled making his own plate before joining the rest of his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping the pacing is turning out alright, if you enjoyed this chapter leave a comment, leave some advice! I love hearing feedback!


	3. Video Games

The clock clicked on as Jim stared ahead at his work. What he would give to just go home and sleep right now. He’s been working on this case for days with Harvey and they both were equally as tired. Jim couldn’t comprehend the last time he even went home; the days just began to blur together. A gentle but loud snore came across Jim and he looked up seeing Harvey completely out could laying on his desk. He debated for a bit on whether to wake the cop up but decided to just leave him be allowing the man rest. The detective looked over the files. The latest one was a topic of a cop killer but somehow tied in with someone under Falcone which Jim was obviously not thrilled about since it would lead to him having to deal with Falcone and Harvey would have a huge tantrum about it.

Jim grabbed his mug of coffee and sipped it only to spit it back in the cup in disgust. It was cold. Jim leaned back in his chair in a grunt and looked around the bullpen only to notice maybe one or two guard cops walking around. Everyone went home. At least mostly everyone. The detective could feel the sting from his eyes as he closed them for a moment. He could feel the blanket of sleep slowly envelop him.

A loud crack of thunder jolted Jim right back up and he stiffened looking back around. The precinct was quiet minus the harsh patting from the rain against the building. Harvey wasn’t at his desk anymore, however a note was stuck onto the lamp of Jim’s desk.  
  
“Gone home for the night. Text me in the morning. -Harv”

Jim checked the time to find it 2am. He groaned annoyed as he realized he fell asleep at his desk for a few hours. A gentle hand landed on his shoulder and he spun around to find Ed.

“huh? What... what are you still doing here, Ed I would have thought you’d of gone home by now?” Jim yawned.

Ed smiled gently and placed some files down on Jim’s desk. “These are some of the evidence filed down into better tips that hopefully can help you out. But Detective you should head home yourself, I may be a workaholic, but you have practically lived here this past week.” Ed commented.

Jim noticed dark eye bags on the other and could only imagine his own and how bad they might be. He did nod in agreement, however.

“Yeah, I should go home, but I don’t feel like it’s safe to be this tired and walk in a storm.” He muttered.

Ed nodded in understanding, stiffening at another flash of lightning and crack of thunder as it echoed through the precinct. The taller man hummed and started to pile up Jim’s files and pulled the detective up. “Let’s go to the break room, it might be easier for you to sleep in there.” He said.

“What about you?”

“Ah, my insomnia is pretty bad, I’ll be okay. I may just head home whenever the storm lightens up and miss a day or two to try and get rest back, my sleeping schedule is shot anyway.”

Jim grunted in concern but was too tired to question Ed further as the reached the break room and Jim took no time to dive for the uncomfortable couch there. Anything was more comfortable than his desk at this point. Ed started to fix himself a cup of water and sighed listening to the storm. Jim couldn’t lie this was incredibly peaceful.

“You know,” Ed began. “I used to be terrified of storms. They still startle me, but they also bring a lot of nice memories of my mom.”

Jim sleepily glanced over. “Oh?”

“Yeah. She would always sing me a lullaby until I fell asleep or didn’t feel scared anymore. Her voice overpowered the scary loud overwhelming noises of the thunder every time.” Ed said brightly.

Jim smiled thinking on it. “I used to be terrified of storms too.” He admitted. “I couldn’t tell my parents though. I thought it was embarrassing. I tried to see if I could tough it out but one night it was a bad storm. Tornado warnings came on and everything and I was utterly terrified.”

Ed tipped his head listening.

“Then I guess my dad came in to check on me and saw me sniffling in the corner and I thought he would have been disappointed. But he wasn’t. He scooped me up and told me a neat story that gave me a different perspective on storms. I don’t remember the story though.”

They exchanged smiles in thought, allowing some silence to grow between them. Jim glanced over at the window above the couch watching the rain smack against the pane. His eyelids lowered and heard Ed’s gentle humming as the other walked around but didn’t turn to look at him. Sleep grabbed Jim once more and the detective felt something heavy over him but was too deep and dove into blackness.

Sunlight gleamed in Jim’s eyes as he blinked them open. The rain was gone, and he could hear the starting bustle of the city. He sniffled a bit and sat up rubbing his eyes feeling a little better since he finally got sleep. The detective looked and saw coat placed over him. He smiled a bit recognizing the coffee stain and sat up and groaning from his sore back. The couch was NOT comfortable, but it was better than any other chair in this god forsaken building.

Jim grabbed the coat and left to go find Ed. As the other coworkers filed into the building Jim couldn’t find Ed only then remembering that other said he would have headed home the moment the storm ended. Jim decided to take off the day and head home, not before grabbing his files and breakfast of course. He sent a text to Harvey to just take the day off as well so they could have a little time to recuperate.

He munched on a bagel observing the files one last time and the newer evidence Ed had gave him the night before. After making connections and one or two quick phone calls he settled down work and placed it to the side and finished off the bagel. Jim couldn’t help but linger back to last night to him and Ed discussing their childhood and feeling the most peaceful than he had in a long time.

* * *

Ed sighed having finished cleaning his apartment. He could feel himself completely drained and on the brink of sleep, but his brain wouldn’t shut up. Ed gave a sigh and crawled into his bed and started rubbing the sheets between his fingers hoping the touch would help lull him down. Ed hummed thinking back on how Jim was doing. He decided to leave his coat incase the detective got cold when he finally passed out. When the rain finally lightened up Ed left to try and make himself sleep but it still seemed like a hopeless endeavor. Ed closed his eyes trying to wind down his mind, clearing his thoughts as best he could only to start thinking back on something else. He pulled his glasses off and shoved his face into the pillow.

Ed wondered if Jim slept okay. Was he home now? Or was he continuing the case. Probably the latter. Why was he thinking about him again? Was it alright to leave his coat with Jim? Would Jim disregard it or find it weird? No, Jim was nicer than the other cops and workers there. Maybe he folded it nice on his desk like a gentleman. Ed hummed gently with a smile. Maybe Jim smiled as he done so, maybe he thanked Ed even though Ed wasn’t there. Ed purred in happy thought as he felt his body go heavy.

The blankets felt safe and welcoming. Ed could almost remember Jim’s smell of aftershave, coffee and smoke. His mind filled with static and comfort while remembering waking up that weekend morning leaned against Jim who had his arm around him and a blanket over them. The minor embarrassment but relief when he was the first to wake up and proceeded to tuck in Jim instead. He liked the feeling though. The protected feeling of Jim holding him even if it was loosely.

Ed grumbled as he woke back and sat up. What woke him up? What time was it? He felt for his glasses and observed the time, seeing it was 3 in the afternoon.

_ **KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.** _

Ed jolted and scrambled out of his bed to open the door. He stumbled and looked through the peephole.

Jim stood outside of Ed’s apartment, the coat tucked in his arm as he knocked and waited for response. He hoped that Ed wasn’t out or anything, it was sort of a long drive from his place to here. However, he began to hear stumbling in the apartment, and he assumed that Ed was indeed home. _Oh, shit, I hope he wasn’t sleeping. _Jim thought a bit panicked. The door opened and Jim’s breath hitched seeing Ed, in casual clothes. It was odd seeing the taller gentleman not his neat self, but Jim wouldn’t lie if Ed’s messy hair wasn’t the cutest damn thing he’s ever seen.

“Jim?”

Jim shook his head snapping out of his trance and smiled. “Sorry to bother you, Ed I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

Ed shook his head. “No actually I woke up earlier… oh come in come in” Ed stepped aside and opened his door more and Jim walked in.

The detective looked around a bit as Ed shut the door behind him. It was small all connected as one whole room but with an interesting up and down level. Jim turned to Ed.

“I came to bring this back.” Jim said holding out the coat.

Ed brightened and took it from him. “Oh, thank you! You didn’t need to come all the way here just to bring me my coat…” Ed then flushed. “N-not that I don’t appreciate the thought!” he added.

Jim chuckled. “I happened to be in this part of town” he lied. “Thank you, though.”

Ed didn’t need to ask what for, and he smiled. “Oh, let me make us some tea!” Ed chirped and placed the coat up before skipping over to his kitchen to make Jim and him cups of tea. Jim made himself cozy and sat on the small couch Ed had placed between the bed and the rest of the home in front a kind of medium to small tv.

“Hey, you mentioned you play video games before, right Ed?” Jim asked observing the multiple systems laid out along the floor, in a neat row, controllers all rolled and neatly placed on top or beside them.

“Yes, though I don’t play as often as I used to since we’ve been busier at the precinct.” Ed called back.

Ed walked over and handed Jim his cup and sat beside him. Maybe just a little too close, but he could lame the smallness of his couch. “Did you want to play something?”

Jim looked over at the systems again. “I’m not very good at video games, didn’t play many of them before.”

“I can always teach you, I have a few older games, we could always play some Street Fighter or Super Mario, or-“ Ed began to ramble at the possible games they could play and Jim smiled listening to the list.

“I’ve heard of Street Fighter, how about you teach me that one?”

“Oh of course! Let me set it up.” Ed slid off the couch and went to his row of systems and started to hook everything up and went to his little side cabinet of games until he found Street Fighter.

Ed explained the controls and combinations to Jim as he showed a bit of demonstration and Jim adjusted to the controller. He muttered about being clumsy with big thumbs, but Ed just chuckled it off and continued to offer advice. Jim picked it up finally and they could play properly laughing and grunting in annoyance at one another whenever one of them lost. Jim jokingly “cheated” moving in front of Ed so he couldn’t see, earning a yelp of panic and moving around the buffer man in order to see the screen, Jim laughing the whole time in good fun.

After a while Ed offered them to play a more story-based game, letting Jim pick out one he’d think he’d like. Jim looked over the mass amount of games Ed had pulling a few out to observe and then placing them back. Ed watched in patience. Jim finally gave a “This one I think.”

Ed peered over seeing Jim offer out a good classic Zelda game. Ocarina of Time.

“You’ll enjoy this game.” Ed said, a smile bright on his face. Jim smiled back and he put the game in, and he settled back beside Ed. Ed began to info dump about Zelda, some Jim seemed to have known already but allowed Ed to fill him in on the stuff he couldn’t quite remember. Ed of course was careful of spoilers and Jim began the game. Ed did his best to not really lead or walk Jim through letting him have his own experience. Jim seemed to really enjoy the soundtrack however much to Ed’s excitement. Ed went and made more tea and some popcorn for them to share as Jim learned to play more absorbed into the game than he expected. Ed glanced over at Jim who looked content and focused as he was stuck in a room. The way Jim’s brow furrowed in thought and then the way they raise, and he mouthed an “oh” when he figured out the puzzle.

Ed could feel his face heat up at the way he thought about his coworker. He knew this feeling and he knew it was going to bother him for a long time. He turned back to the screen seeing how Jim has progressed already. The two men’s stomach growling however put their entertainment to a hold and Jim offered to buy Ed out dinner.

Ed graciously took up the offer and went to go get dressed before they head out, mentally keeping the thought of this as a date clear from his head.


	4. Sensory

The air was cool as Jim and Ed walked down the block looking around for a place to eat. Ed kept talking about something cheap, but Jim wasn’t having it. He pointed out a semi-decent looking restaurant. It looked a little packed, but Jim thought it would clear out in a while if they were patient. Jim noticed Ed’s slight nervous shuffled and serious look observing the restaurant. Ed agreed to enter. They walked in and Jim ordered them a table. The bustle of the restaurant wasn’t as bad as expected. They got a booth and Ed looked a bit more reassured though Jim couldn’t understand why the other looked nervous. They made orders and as they waited and chatted lightly about the game Jim was trying out, the air shifted.

Jim could sense something was off but couldn’t pin it down. Was it Ed? The restaurant? He wasn’t sure but noticed Ed’s sudden silence and flushed look. He could see the other’s chest heaving and realized he was hyperventilating.

“Ed? Ed what’s wrong?” he asked. Ed stared ahead at the table and began to pull at his sweater.

Okay the place was a bit stuffy; Ed could deal with that. He was hoping that pointing out less crowded and cheaper places would be enough to make a point to Jim. Ed was okay and more reassured when they got a booth towards the end of the restaurant. He tried to ignore the incoming obnoxious families and kept up his chat with Jim after they ordered. Then the baby cried.

The baby’s amplified screaming and crying felt like nails on a chalkboard mixed with a jack hammer in Ed’s ears. He clenched his teeth hoping the baby would be quiet.

_It’s just a baby. It’s just a baby. They cry all the time it’s okay. God who brings a baby into loud restaurants. _

Ed began to rub his arm trying to distract himself from the horrendous noise. He was ready to offer Jim to just go back to his place and he could cook them dinner but he also felt it was too late for that, since they already ordered. Ed wasn’t aware that his breathing picked up and he felt distressed. He needed to leave. He wanted to scream. He wanted that child to shut up. He felt a hand grab his arm and immediate alarm bells rang in his head and swiped his arm back and looked up seeing Jim look rather aback. Embarrassment and mixed anger flooded his head as he couldn’t process whatever words Jim was saying and Ed just started to shake his head aggressively.

At some point the waitress came back Jim said something and looked around before gesturing for Ed to follow him. Ed stood up immediately but didn’t wait around and ran out the front of the restaurant. The now freezing air hit Ed like a wave of water something to cool him off. The noises of the city seemed calmer than the screaming children that should not have belonged in that restaurant. Ed sat on the bench in front of the restaurant holding his head steadying his breathing. He should have been better prepared. Shit, did Jim even follow him. He didn’t bother looking up. After a few minutes, Ed felt somebody sit beside him and he glanced up seeing Jim, holding a bag. For a while they didn’t say anything before he felt a very slight tap and Ed looked back up seeing Jim offer his phone and Ed hesitantly took it but saw a message on it.

“Wanna go back to your place?”

Ed nodded and Jim took his phone back and stood Ed following, his head lowered.

* * *

Jim and Ed walked in silence back to Ed’s apartment and was careful to not touch Ed again, in fear of his aggressive reaction. Clearly, Ed having a meltdown equaled to touching. Jim made a mental note of that. When they got back Jim placed the bag of food on the table and took off his coat. Ed shuffled to the kitchen and made himself a glass of water. After a while, he walked to Jim, not looking at him and sat down.

“Ed?”

Ed looked up, with ashamed brown eyes.

“Ed, I’m sorry if that restaurant was overwhelming. However, I got our food to go. I think it would have been nicer to eat here anyway.” Jim said, keeping his voice low, in case Ed was still a bit sensitive.

“I’m sorry.” Ed whimpered. “Sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Hey, what do you have to be sorry for?”

“I was being rude and weird and-“

“Ed.”

“It was all just too much, I can’t stand loud noises and then you touched me and it got worse and I feel bad cause what’s wrong with touch and-“

“Edward.”

Ed closed his mouth as Jim’s voice raised.

“It’s okay, I get it. I saw your discomfort before, I should have paid more attention to that, I apologize. But right now, I’m hungry let’s eat hm?”

Ed nodded and gave a sad, small smile. They set the table up and ate happily and had a better conversation in the quiet white noised apartment.

Jim and Ed settled back on the couch, flipping through the channels. Jim checked the time and decided to stay just a bit longer, not wanting to over do his stay. He looked over to Ed ready to ask something but noticed Ed’s red eyes and tears.

“Ed?”

The other sniffled and rubbed his eyes, muttering a sorry. “Jim, why are you so nice?”

Jim’s brows furrowed unsure about the question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean why are you so nice to me? I’m so unbearably weird and awkward and just some sort of… sort of ‘Freak’ as Ms. Kringle puts it- “

“Ed, hey.” Jim sat up seriously. “Everybody has quirks and you are nowhere near a freak. It’s incredibly fun to hang out with you, today has been fun at most!”

Jim put a soft hand on Ed’s shoulder. “Ed, society doesn’t like what it doesn’t understand. Especially for guys. It scares them.”

Jim turned fully. “Ed, something bothered you at the restaurant. What was that?”

Ed sniffled a bit and sat up. “do you know about sensory overload?”

Jim shook his head. “I heard of it, but I don’t know what it is.”

Ed began to explain how the noises from the restaurant to him was amplified and also explained that touching was just as overwhelming to him as well during those periods and he was reacting in a way to protect himself. It seemed to clarify a few questions Jim had.

“Right now, I’m okay, touch is fine” He grabbed Jim’s wrist and lifted it to prove his point. “But then it felt like static and uncomfortable textures crawling over my arm and I couldn’t get it off and it scared me.”

Jim looked a little apologetic but seemed to understand more now. “I see, I’m sorry that I put you through that…”

“That’s not on you, I should have clarified instead of thinking I could handle it. I didn’t want to be rude.”

They sat in thought for a bit before Jim stood. “I should head home. It’s been fun hanging with you Ed.”

“Do you have to go?” Ed blurted and felt his face go red and close his mouth as soon as the question left his mouth.

Jim smiled and raised a brow. “Want me to stay? Just means you’ll have to come with me to work tomorrow morning.”

Ed felt his face heat up more. “Well, I mean, I … uh…” The taller man stood immediately muttering that he can set his bed up for Jim.  
Jim was about to argue but Ed wasn’t having it and was already on his way on making the bed up for him. Jim continued to suggest himself sleeping on the couch, saying how he already slept at the precinct couch.

“Ed either you take your bed or were sharing it”

Man, Jim was NOT making this crush any easier on Ed.

“how cliché, Jim”

“Oh, it’s cliché?”

“we all know you’d fall absolutely in love with me like they do in those romcoms if we share a bed like the motel got our rooms confused.”

“That is a cliché isn’t it? Well, I’m ready for the risk.”

Ed could not get any redder than Jim has made him thus far.

“Are you saying you’d risk falling in love with me?” Ed jokingly asked.

“Hey, it’d be worth it, you’re pretty dashing.”

Jim couldn’t understand where all this flirt talk, he was saying was coming from. Sure, he’d had a few thoughts about how cute Ed was and maybe once or twice thinking about kissing him, and oh god that bed head hair he had this afternoon was absolutely adorable. The moment he called Ed dashing though he felt himself blush and watched as Ed’s joking smile turn in to one of surprise, mouth open a little in genuine surprise. So, he may have had a little crush on the forensic analyst, not that big of a surprise. Who was going to stop him? Well maybe Ed. God should he have considered Ed’s sexuality. Well that’s a bit of an invasive topic…

“D…you think I’m dashing?” Ed whispered.

“Well…” Jim awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “yeah. Dashing and charming… heh.”

Ed didn’t move but continued to stare at Jim.

“Uh, sorry I made this weird, didn’t I?” Jim said looking down his face burning up probably to match Ed’s.

“I think you’re charming as well.” Ed interrupted, shyly.

Well how the hell was Jim supposed to go from there? Why was this so hard? This night was now going to be an experience… an awkward one at that.

* * *

The two men laid in Ed’s bed, which was incredibly comfortable Jim would add. They both were still awake looking up at the ceiling, a good bit of space between them.

“Jim?”

“hm?”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“I don’t know. Blue maybe. What about yours?”

“Green.”

More silence. Jim gave a side eye towards Ed and saw the other was staring but with a small smile to his face. Jim decided to turn his head completely his way, Ed copying the action and they looked at each other for a moment.

“Jim?”

“yes, Ed?”

“_I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?_”

Jim stared at Ed thinking, making it clear he was trying to figure it out. Why was it Ed? Something about the riddle man made Jim just so happy. Happier than when he was with Barbara. He never had as much fun doing any activity than when he was doing it with Ed. Drinking, video games, puzzle solving things that Jim took for granted. Ed made a change somehow. He liked how Ed was clever with his words. He liked how Ed always took others in consideration, being friendly, shy and awkward, something about all that was charming and something Jim admired. A soft approach compared to his own rough harsh approach. Jim couldn’t explain it.

Not even realizing the space somehow closing between them, from Jim sitting up partly, and moving closer to Ed, he gently pressed his lips to the other’s. A gentle ‘mm’ in surprise was all that was said but, pleasantly, Ed kissed back. When they parted Jim answered.

“Love.”


	5. Knowing

It was obvious to Harvey that Ed and Jim were different. Lighter. Ed’s mood increased significantly lately. He was a lot more chipper about work, not even as phased by his usual bullies. Jim also seemed more relax even on their more intense cases. Harvey wouldn’t lie it freaked him out at their sudden shift in behavior, but he also considered, at least for Ed, was he wasn’t as left out of the loop. Harvey figured that maybe the fact Ed had friends helped. Which only laid out more guilt on Harvey for being such a prick to him this whole time. Jim’s shift was just a little different.

Harvey only recently found out about how Barbara left, and he almost saw Jim and Lee getting together, but that turned out be untrue. So, what changed his behavior? Harvey slowly began to pick up on it all though. It was only between Ed and Jim. Whenever Ed comes up to them with new evidence, Harvey could see Jim’s eyes light up and smile rise to him. Harvey was dull but he wasn’t blind. He knew that look. Yet, he wasn’t surprised. Harvey saw the same light up with Ed, the only difference was that Ed wasn’t used to the new attention they’ve been giving him but he saw just a little something in Ed’s expression when Jim goes over to him with a coffee. Harvey was happy to see them content.

Sometimes, jobs like these could weigh you down, so having support is always nice. If anything, he enjoys being there for his friends. The only confusing thing was Jim’s types tend to differ a lot. Trying everything on the menu is usually an interesting way of going about it.

Harvey wouldn’t complain. He also was quiet about it, but he made it clear to Jim that he was aware of something between him and Ed. It wasn’t until a month later did Harvey brought it up when he was over at Jim’s place.

“So, Ed?”

“Hm? What about him?”

“You into him?”

“Meaning?”

Harvey couldn’t help but smirk seeing Jim’s tense look but trying to remain calm.

“You like him don’t ya? More than a friend I’m implying.”

Jim didn’t respond seeming to see if he could work his way out of the conversation.

“Jim, you don’t need to panic. I’ve been noticing it for a while, I didn’t want to push it. But I also want you to trust me.”

Jim relaxed a bit but still looked uncomfortable. “Yeah. I like him.”

“And when did you discover that?”

“About… a month ago? It was a weird day.”

“Everything is weird in this goddamn town.” Harvey mumbled sipping his beer.

“But Ed. Didn’t pin him down as your type, Jimbo.”

“He is definitely different.” Jim added looking off into space. “I don’t know, it was just really easy to stay around him. Something reassuring? I’m not sure what it is, but I enjoy it.”

“I think that’s happiness, Jim.”

“Again, whatever it is, I enjoy it.”

Harvey laughed and sat forward. “you know, I really misjudged Ed. I gotta be better about that.”

Jim smiled. “You’re good, Harv.”

-

Jim tapped his fingers along his desk as he scrolled through his computer. The detective has been there for a few hours trying to see what to get Ed for Christmas. Jim had done extensive research on sensory overload since Ed’s meltdown back at the restaurant. From then on Jim has always been more aware of Ed’s body language and it almost being second nature of what places and times were going to be too much for the other. Jim also mentioned it to Harvey and Lee but made it subtle so they wouldn’t alarm Ed for knowing.

Jim had seen some fidget cubes which could help, and they were cheap. He hummed in a nice tone finding a site dedicated to stimming toys. Jim knew only a few of Ed’s habits so he wasn’t sure these were enough or if Ed would even use them. Ed was pretty good at managing himself, so he decided to stick to the fidget cube. Then he saw noise cancelling headphones.

“Oh perfect.” He looked through a few and found the nicest and comfiest looking ones to order. Jim leaned back thinking to himself before wrapping up his shopping and packing his files.

“Jim!”

The detective spun around and smiled seeing Ed scamper up to him. “My place, dinner?”

Jim turned his head thinking though Ed, knew the answer.

“Yeah.”

The two walked back to Ed’s apartment, chatting pleasantly. Jim couldn’t help but feel a warm and overwhelming feeling, fill his chest. He really couldn’t nail down what it was about Ed. Well, he did seem to have an interest with people of intelligence. Maybe that was apart of it. Jim couldn’t quite remember when it happened, but he took hold of Ed’s hand as they walked. He smiled hearing Ed give a small hitched breath and then smile shyly, all the while giving Jim’s hand a small squeeze. Jim wasn’t too public about his affections, but this was different. Everything was different. It was rest. A rest from the cases, a rest from gangs, from being alone, from drinking, a rest from Gotham. Right now, Jim was walking to his boyfriend’s apartment holding his hand, even swinging it a little like a child. Jim was happy.

Ed unlocked his apartment, happily letting Jim in and immediately heading to the kitchen to fix them something to drink. Jim went ahead and settled on the couch, getting the game system up to continue their joint game of Zelda. Honestly, Ed would have finished it within at least a day or two playing normally but this time he was happily taking his time, and patiently watching Jim figure puzzles out on his own. Ed sat beside Jim, setting their drinks down and happily leaning his head on top of Jim’s shoulder. Jim then adjusted and wrapped his arm around Ed, having the younger lay his head on his chest instead as Jim began to play the game.

“Hey Ed.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s happened with you and Kristen?”

“Oh Ms. Kringle? Well…”

Weeks prior, most cops would have teased Ed about his obvious crush. Since Jim’s first start of befriending the forensic analyst, Ed had simply reduced to more friendly terms towards the archivist. He would say hi, bye, thank you, and no problem whenever they had exchanges. He even stopped pestering her with his riddles, which he also knew just annoyed everyone. (minus Jim and Lee since they try and solve it.)

He decided that maybe he was being too pushy before which and recognized that he wasn’t as into her as he thought. Ed cringed at his own realization of how creepy he was. It was a bit obsessive. He had sent a proper card of an apology explaining that his behavior was unprofessional and whatever she asked he would do his best to respect the boundaries.

Luckily, Ed noticed Kristen long been sticking up for Ed whenever the other cops tried to pester him. Ed was thankful for that. He didn’t act like he didn’t notice Lee talking to her a lot, befriending her quickly. Lee then started to invite Kristen into their group, out for drinks, out for get togethers. It at first made Ed nervous, since it happened just a little before him and Jim were a thing. There was however time for Kristen to apologize herself about how rude she’s been, and they came to a proper agreement of being friends.

Ed pressed against Jim’s chest more. “Were friends now. She apologized for being mean before. She’s been sticking up for me at work.”

“Are you still being picked on at work? God the at whole place is full of assholes.”

Ed chuckled. “Not as much as I used to. Since you and Harvey been hanging around me more, they must of felt intimidated and backed off.”

Jim smiled leaning his head just enough to lay his chin on top of Ed’s head.

“Ed I’m lost.”

“Turn back you missed a door”

“How does Link do this every game. How does he manage to go through damn volcanos?”

“Courage.” Ed answered simply. “Something I wish I had”

The game paused and Jim lifted his head making Ed look up at him confused.

“You have courage.” Jim said.

“oh?”

“With all the shit that goes on in this town, most normal people would have packed and left. But you work with the GCPD and help solve drastic cases with us. You walk down the street of this cursed city. You back talk Flass, the asshole. You’re dating a man who’s cursed to bring hell down around him-“

Ed pressed his hand to Jim’s mouth. “Okay, I’m stopping you there, Jimbo. What’s this about being cursed and bring hell down?”

Jim’s expression twisted as he debated on his words. Ed pulled his hand away and Jim sighed. “It sort of slipped while rambling, It’s nothing big…”

“Jim.”

Jim sighed out and scratched the back of his neck. “Sometimes I think I just get everyone hurt. Any person I’ve been with or cared about is going to get hurt. It’s why I was so off when I first got here, it’s why I don’t listen to anyone, I’ve pushed myself to be, as Lee likes to call it; ‘Lone Wolf’ syndrome.”

Ed nodded and sat up; legs crossed. “Jim you’re not cursed. Pretty sure curses don’t exist. I think things turned out bad yes, but you’re not cursed. You live a dangerous job in a dangerous city.”

“I just don’t want anyone getting hurt anymore or leave me” he muttered.

“Is this about Barbara?”

Jim looked up at Ed with a stern look. Ed didn’t flinch but didn’t look angry or jealous. Just serious.

“I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t but I’m pretty sure it’s a deep-rooted problem.” Jim admitted.

Ed, looking satisfied with the answer moved closer to the detective and kissed him gently. Jim kissed back with a purr.

“Jim, you know you don’t have to deal with all this alone right? I know how that goes and I think if you and the others weren’t there to help me, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

Jim pressed his forehead to Ed’s. “I guess I need some courage, huh.”

Ed hummed and smiled. “We all have it, it’s just we have to wait when it’s our time to save someone or something.”

After a bit more time of silence, Ed crawled into Jim’s lap, pressing against his chest and took the controller, unpausing the game and having it be his turn. Jim chuckled and wrapped his arms around the other watching in silence, purring into Ed’s neck.

“Making a home there, Jim?”

“Mhm” The other mumbled and just snuggled more, making Ed giggle a little a bit.

“Your face scruff is itchy.”   
“How?! I shaved like two days ago”

“Hair grows, Jim”

The very serious and professional detective stuck his tongue out at Ed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There probably will be one or two more chapters left on this mini fic. 
> 
> however i plan to upload possibly one or two oneshots from this fic! stay tuned!


	6. Christmas

Christmas time wasn’t usually something Edward was fond of. Ed usually was alone on Christmas. Nobody ever gotten him anything from previous holiday parties, that Ed stopped going to. He also stopped getting everyone anything simply because nobody cared. Only 2 years earlier he decided to celebrate his own way by drinking hot chocolate and rewatching Doctor Who Christmas Special reruns. Something for him, that made him content and happy. This year he knew was going to be different and though Ed dreaded the change he was happy he wouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone, again. It took a lot of coaxing from Harvey and Lee to even get him and Jim to go to the GCPD Christmas party.

“It’ll be fun! On the plus side Jim finally said he’ll go!” Harvey said walking with Ed through the parking lot.

“How much alcohol did you bribe him with?” Ed joked.

Harvey smirked. “Not enough to be honest. Plus, he said he’ll for sure go if you go.”

“So, he didn’t actually agree to go? Harvey you’re going to confuse me.”

“What do you have against parties?” Harvey said exasperated, receiving a look from Ed making Harvey add a “never mind”

“I’m not a huge fan of crowded places anyway.” Ed added. “But if Jim is going, I’ll take consideration for it.”

Harvey smiled and nodded. “Okay I’ll accept that. You two don’t have to stay the whole time but I would sure like to be with friends that I actually like.”

Ed smiled at that. _Friends that I actually like._

Jim held up the box he wrapped as best to his ability. The noise cancelling headphones came in and he placed the box on the couch beside him before checking the time. Shit he was going to be late. He grabbed the present and jogged out to his car to head back to the Precinct.

When he arrived, Jim grunted seeing how many cars were there. It was his first Christmas party there and he was not pleased about actually partying with already rowdy cops. He walked into the building, Christmas music playing decently loud, cops already chatting and joking. Jim observed the area more finding Harvey, Lee and Kristen chatting pleasantly amongst each other. Jim strolled over greeting them.

“There he is, have you seen Nygma?” Harvey asked.

Jim shook his head. “No, he said he was coming right?”

“That’s what he told me.”

Kristen and Lee nodded in agreement.

Jim bit the inside of his cheek in concern for where Ed could be.

“he did mention that he didn’t care for crowded places…” Harvey said looking at his drink. “If he’s here he could be near the corners of the place or somewhere quiet.”

“Or he just hadn’t arrived yet.” Lee added, more positively.

This wasn’t making Jim feel any better. He pulled his phone out and texted Ed.

_‘Where are you?’_

Ed walked from his apartment to the Precinct. He wasn’t looking forward to the number of rowdy assholes that filled that place, but he also wanted to hang out with his friends and Jim. Ed was deep down excited. He hadn’t been to any parties at the GCPD in a long time. He was thrilled to finally have a reason to go and not go alone.

He paused his walk though, looking into a store. A nice watch, in the window of the store. Like _Nice_.

“That would be perfect for Jim.” Ed murmured under his breath.

Jim had only recently broken his old watch from a cop chase he was involved in. He hadn’t gotten a new one yet, as watches were expensive. Ed walked into the store finding the brand watch and bought it on the spot. He went to text Harvey that he was on his way but patted his pocket to not find his phone. He must have left it back at the apartment. He shrugged and paced off his journey to the GCPD, placing the watch in his inner coat pocket.

Jim sat in the chair off to the side watching as the cops got rowdier. He didn’t notice Kristen sit beside him, her having to pat against his shoulder to gain his attention. Jim’s attention snapped up. “Sorry, did you say something?”

Kristen laughed. “I was asking, if you were okay?”

“Yeah just waiting for Ed, I guess. I’m not entirely great at parties like these.”

She nodded in understanding. “Based off how loud this place is? Edward wouldn’t want to be here at all. It would be too much.”

“You know about his sensory issue?”

“I did for a while, before you came to work here. He only had maybe two bad panic attacks that he couldn’t handle on his own.”

Jim turned to her. “how did you help him?”

“Well you can’t touch him for one. Not without his initiative.”

“I learned that one the hard way.”

Kristen nodded. “As long as you can take him somewhere quiet or less crowded its already a million times better. That and maybe giving him something to focus on instead or talking and distracting him.” She took a moment to observe Jim.

“You really love him.”

Jim’s face reddened.

Kristen giggled. “It’s sort of obvious, detective.”

“Please call me Jim.”

“You’re getting impatient.”

“How so?”

“Edward isn’t here yet and your leg is bouncing.”

“The bouncing might be my own anxiety.” Jim sighed and stretched his leg out to keep it from bouncing any longer. “He’s not answering his phone which is very unlike him, he usually responds fairly quickly.”

Jim stood up. “I think I’m going to go looking for him, let Harvey know, will you?”

Kristen nodded and Jim turned and headed out the front doors of the GCPD only to crash into a familiar fellow.

“Edward there you are!” Harvey called from over the Christmas music as he jogged to the two only to start laughing as Jim had fallen on top of Edward.

Edward looked like a deer caught in headlights absolutely blushing and not moving and it took Jim a moment to process before blushing himself and pushing himself off and helping Edward up.

“If you two were going to do that do that in a private room or something’” Harvey smirked earning a glare from Jim as to say, ‘Do not embarrass us anymore than we already are’.

“Where have you been, Nygma?” Harvey asked finally. “We’ve been texting you!”

Ed looked rather off guard. “you’ve been worried-…. Sorry I left my phone back at my apartment, and walked here, I was going to send you all a text, but I was already halfway here before I realized I didn’t even have my phone on me.” The poor boy rambled like he was going to get yelled at if his reason wasn’t good enough.

Jim had to cut him off with a simple hand to the shoulder and grabbed his hand, tugging him back in the station and they walked over to the little corner Lee and Kristen were, and they excitedly squeaked seeing Ed and Jim holding hands, making the two even more red as they were still recovering from their cliché earlier. To be honest, Jim realized he hadn’t quite shown as much public affection with Ed at work, mostly in fear that him being bullied already would worsen. At this point, however, Jim didn’t care and decided to move his arm around Ed’s waist. Jim glanced at Ed, seeing his very startled look but he was smiling nonetheless and pressed against Jim’s side. Ed did okay with the party mostly because he was more comfortable in the corner the little squad decided to stay at. Ed clapped his hands at his sudden memory and turned to Jim. “I got you a present!”

Jim blinked. “You did?”

“Yeah, one moment.” He opened his coat and pulled out the little bag and handed it over to Jim.

The detective took the bag gently like it would have turned to dust if he grabbed it too quickly. He paused. “I got you a present too.”

Ed’s turn to blink. Jim handed the bag back and walked over to his desk and opened the drawer and picked up the wrapped box and came back, trading off the presents properly.

“Open them on the count of three?” Jim asked.

“Sure.”

1.

2.

3.

Ed started to unwrap the box as Jim opened the bag and removed the small tissue paper.

Jim smiled and pulled out a new watch. So, Ed paid attention to his complaints? He shouldn’t be as surprised; Ed was very good and listening and paying attention to these sorts of things.

“Thank you, Ed,…” Jim’s smile faded seeing Edward in tears. White panic filled Jim’s mind as he tried to think of reasons as to why Ed would be crying. Overwhelmed from the party finally? Did he not like the present?

“Ed what’s wrong? Do you need to leave?”

Ed shook his head and wiped his eyes, moving his glasses up. “n-no it’s not that, I’m fine it’s...” He placed the box down on the desk near him and wiped his eyes more. “you picked a really nice gift, I’m just… I never really gotten a gift before…”

Jim’s heart clenched in both sadness but also happy that Ed didn’t dislike the present. Jim placed his watch back in the bag and set it down as well and wrapped his arms around Ed. Jim could feel his shirt getting wet, but he didn’t mind. He noticed some glances from Harvey, Lee and Kristen and mouthed out a “its okay” Making them nod and letting Jim handle it.

“So, I’m taking it that you like the present?”

Ed let out a laugh against Jim’s chest and pulled back nodding. “Yes, thank you, I’ve been wanting a pair of those for a while.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I got emotional.”

“It’s perfectly okay. Hey why don’t you test those out.” Jim gestured to the headphones.

Ed excitedly began to open the box and after a few adjustments he put the headphones on him. They were bulky but that was fine. Jim said something but Ed was still looking around. So, it was only best assumed that they worked pretty well.

Fairly soon, Ed and Jim couldn’t stand being at that party any longer and decided that Jim would drive Ed back to his apartment instead of walking in the cold. The apartment was warm the two entered and settled on the couch comfortably. Jim had immediately pulled Ed onto his lap. Jim wasn’t sure where all this affection from him was coming from, but he honestly didn’t mind, and he thinks Ed doesn’t mind either. Ed purred into Jim’s neck feeling very calm and settled. They didn’t talk or made much movement beside adjusting their positions now and then. Ed began to absentmindedly run his fingers through Jim’s hair. The detective’s shoulders dropped feeling relaxed at the feeling and it was his turn to purr.

“I’m glad you became my friend.” Ed mumbled finally.

Jim’s eyes fluttered open and looked at the other.

“I’m glad you cared.” Ed continued. “I was starting to lose hope in that place.”

Jim didn’t speak but instead turned his head and placed a kiss on Ed’s forehead.

“So was I.” Jim replied.

They were silent again content, Ed continuing to run his fingers through Jim’s hair and Jim his arms around Ed feeling the most relaxed he felt in a long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter!   
Sorry for the long wait? i was struggling on continuing this and wasn't quite feeling the mood.   
I will probably do some oneshots off of this fic just as little side things. hope you enjoyed and happy holidays!


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